This question was posed to me by a reader of Eden & Elle magazine . She wrote me a letter explaining that she was involved with a man on the other side of the ocean (she's from Utah, he lives in England), one that she had never seen before and was now wondering what the chances of their relationship succeeding was.
They had met several months earlier on a forum, had started mailing with one another, their communication had evolved to calling each other on an almost daily basis. They were now in love and working hard to make their relationship develop and mature.
Since I have moved several times in my life from country to country, and continent to continent, I have had my fair share of leaving behind my (at the time) boyfriend and trying to make a long distance relaitonship work. Of course, I was only a teenager and I don't think you can really compare those relationships to adult mature relationships, but still.
Relationships are already a challenge when the partners are able to see each other on a frequent basis, they get to know each others' flaws as well as their good characteristics. They get to explore each other not only emotionally but physically as well, something which isn't possible in long distance relationships.
Yet, in this cyber age, where people spend so much time behind their computers, it is only logical that they begin to elaborate their efforts in their search for happiness. Not to mention the fact that its easier to talk to someone who can't see you, who you can open up to and tell your deepest darkest secrets to and then with a click of the mouse erase from your life like they never existed if they say something you don't appreciate.
Bottom line is, I think that her relationship has just as much chance to work out as it would when she was dating someone in her hometown. Maybe even more so, as the relationship is built solely on emotional attraction, not physical attraction, so you know for sure that your partner is not in the relationship just for the sex.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
U.S.A. Healthcare - The American Dream ?
With the 2008 elections on their way, each candidate has their own strategy to want to improve the health care in the U.S. In a country where almost EVERYTHING is possible and that still draws many migrants, be they legal or illegal to achieve the "American dream", it sure has a bad reputation when it comes to health insurance.
I happened to watch Oprah today, the show was about the movie Michael Moore had made called "Sicko". The movie has caused quite a controversy, not only by its candor but by bringing the many problems that the American health care system has out into the open for all to see and hear. There are 50 million people in the States who aren't insured, that's huge don't you think?
Here in Europe, especially in the Benelux, health care is the same for everyone. Whether you are the son of the garbage disposal man or the son of the C.E.O., you will be treated the same. Of course, we have the opportunity to pay for additional private insurance, but this isn't really necessary, unless you prefer, for example, to have a private room when staying in hospital.
The average we pay annually for health care is +/- €100,00 ($ 130,00) PER family. When we visit a G.P. , we receive an invoice which we deliver to the health care company we CHOSE to be insured with, and we receive approx. 75% back from what we paid the G.P. in the first place. Medicine prescribed by the doctor is also 70% - 90% of what you would pay if you weren't insured. The same applies for specialists (though this may be 65% depending on what he/she is specialized in). Everyone, young and old, has a special card which looks like a credit card. It has the details of the person on the computer chip, and is used whenever we have to enter hospital or buy things at the pharmacy. It basically shows that our medical history is up to date and that we are insured.
You cannot NOT be insured here, that's how easy and fair it is.
There is a difference however, when it comes to being self-employed. The annual payments are higher then, and you have to choose between basic health care and all inclusive health care, but the amount also depends on how much you earn. Yet even then the annual payments are between €750,00 ($900,00)- €1500,00 ($1800,00) per year which I believe is a lot less than the average self-employed American has to pay.
As powerful as the U.S. is, maybe its time they learned from the smaller, somewhat "insignificant" countries on how to truly care about their citizens. To me, there are 50 million reasons for doing so. Let's hope that one of the presidential candidates did their homework and listened to what Michael Moore had to say.
I happened to watch Oprah today, the show was about the movie Michael Moore had made called "Sicko". The movie has caused quite a controversy, not only by its candor but by bringing the many problems that the American health care system has out into the open for all to see and hear. There are 50 million people in the States who aren't insured, that's huge don't you think?
Here in Europe, especially in the Benelux, health care is the same for everyone. Whether you are the son of the garbage disposal man or the son of the C.E.O., you will be treated the same. Of course, we have the opportunity to pay for additional private insurance, but this isn't really necessary, unless you prefer, for example, to have a private room when staying in hospital.
The average we pay annually for health care is +/- €100,00 ($ 130,00) PER family. When we visit a G.P. , we receive an invoice which we deliver to the health care company we CHOSE to be insured with, and we receive approx. 75% back from what we paid the G.P. in the first place. Medicine prescribed by the doctor is also 70% - 90% of what you would pay if you weren't insured. The same applies for specialists (though this may be 65% depending on what he/she is specialized in). Everyone, young and old, has a special card which looks like a credit card. It has the details of the person on the computer chip, and is used whenever we have to enter hospital or buy things at the pharmacy. It basically shows that our medical history is up to date and that we are insured.
You cannot NOT be insured here, that's how easy and fair it is.
There is a difference however, when it comes to being self-employed. The annual payments are higher then, and you have to choose between basic health care and all inclusive health care, but the amount also depends on how much you earn. Yet even then the annual payments are between €750,00 ($900,00)- €1500,00 ($1800,00) per year which I believe is a lot less than the average self-employed American has to pay.
As powerful as the U.S. is, maybe its time they learned from the smaller, somewhat "insignificant" countries on how to truly care about their citizens. To me, there are 50 million reasons for doing so. Let's hope that one of the presidential candidates did their homework and listened to what Michael Moore had to say.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
A healthy mind and body without leaving your home
Here in Belgium it was mothers day on August 15th and as a gift from my kids they bought a Wii. For those of you who think it's a rude word, let me explain. A Wii is a game console made by Nintendo, sort of like the play station 3 or the x-box 360. The difference is its innovative new control scheme. Instead of using a traditional controller, the Wii relies on the Wiimote,a device that looks like a standard television remote, and the "nunchuck" attachment for it to control your games.
The system uses infrared sensors to detect the motion of the two devices. The applications of this control scheme make you feel as if you are actually holding whatever item you need to play the game,e.g. where you swing the Wiimote to swing a tennis racket or sword, aim it like a gun and shoot on screen bad guys or even tilt the Wiimote left and right to steer cars.
It was very easy to install, even by my standards, since I'm not tech savvy and I thoroughly enjoyed playing the different games like tennis, bowling and golf. So much so that I woke up the next morning with muscle ache! Nintendo has also introduced brain academy, a game which trains your brain. Initially it was only sold for the DS Lite but now I can "work" on keeping not only my body but my mind fit and healthy too.
If you think its only for the young generation, think again. My mom is 61 years of age and she enjoys playing on the Wii just as much as my kids do. This is the first game console that I have found interesting and fun to do. No more sitting on my butt trying to understand how all the different buttons work with my thumbs (with my eldest getting frustrated because I don't know what I'm doing) but good exercise in the comfort of my own home.
I use it several times a week, sometimes for pure fun, sometimes to help me relax and relieve the stress that undoubtably many people feel throughout their week. For christmas I'm going to buy myself a game called "trauma center second opinion". I've seen how it works on YOUTUBE and it looks really cool! :=)
The system uses infrared sensors to detect the motion of the two devices. The applications of this control scheme make you feel as if you are actually holding whatever item you need to play the game,e.g. where you swing the Wiimote to swing a tennis racket or sword, aim it like a gun and shoot on screen bad guys or even tilt the Wiimote left and right to steer cars.
It was very easy to install, even by my standards, since I'm not tech savvy and I thoroughly enjoyed playing the different games like tennis, bowling and golf. So much so that I woke up the next morning with muscle ache! Nintendo has also introduced brain academy, a game which trains your brain. Initially it was only sold for the DS Lite but now I can "work" on keeping not only my body but my mind fit and healthy too.
If you think its only for the young generation, think again. My mom is 61 years of age and she enjoys playing on the Wii just as much as my kids do. This is the first game console that I have found interesting and fun to do. No more sitting on my butt trying to understand how all the different buttons work with my thumbs (with my eldest getting frustrated because I don't know what I'm doing) but good exercise in the comfort of my own home.
I use it several times a week, sometimes for pure fun, sometimes to help me relax and relieve the stress that undoubtably many people feel throughout their week. For christmas I'm going to buy myself a game called "trauma center second opinion". I've seen how it works on YOUTUBE and it looks really cool! :=)
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Luscious lips....?
It's been just over a week since I had my lips enhanced. One thing I learned is to ask everything BEFORE I have any kind of changes done to my body. Not that I wasn't given the chance to do so during the initial consultation since the surgeon was very patient and answered all and any questions I had but I should have asked more. Then again, if I had known exactly how my lips were going to be enhanced I may not even have had them done.
I knew I was going to need a local anesthetic, what I didn't realize is that that was going to damn well hurt more than the enhancement itself (but I guess that's coz by the time the surgeon injected the liquid I didn't feel anything anymore due to the anesthetic) I also didn't realize that my lips were not going to be exactly the way I wanted them to be as soon as the enhancement was finished so when I looked in the mirror directly afterwards I was shocked!
Fortunately the nurses at the clinic and the doctor himself reassured me that the swelling, which was partly due to the anesthetic and partly due to the "surgery" itself, would go down within the next 24 to 48 hours. And they were right. The area surrounding my lips was almost completely normal at he day after and my lips themselves were looking deliciously full & exactly the way I pictured them to be.
So I am very happy that I had this done, however I would suggest that if you do decide to have any part of your body changed or enhanced, try to find a doctor who can show you what the end result will look like on a computer by means of digital photography or something like that. I didn't and though I personally know the surgeon who did my lips, it was something I should have asked him to show me.
Let me end this by saying I thought about this procedure for about a year before I actually went ahead with it, collecting information, pondering about whether it would make me FEEL happier or not. If it would change anything in my life and to make sure I was only doing this for me, myself and I and no-one else. It's very important that you never have any type of surgery or procedure done unless you are the one that truly feels it will make you feel happier.
I knew I was going to need a local anesthetic, what I didn't realize is that that was going to damn well hurt more than the enhancement itself (but I guess that's coz by the time the surgeon injected the liquid I didn't feel anything anymore due to the anesthetic) I also didn't realize that my lips were not going to be exactly the way I wanted them to be as soon as the enhancement was finished so when I looked in the mirror directly afterwards I was shocked!
Fortunately the nurses at the clinic and the doctor himself reassured me that the swelling, which was partly due to the anesthetic and partly due to the "surgery" itself, would go down within the next 24 to 48 hours. And they were right. The area surrounding my lips was almost completely normal at he day after and my lips themselves were looking deliciously full & exactly the way I pictured them to be.
So I am very happy that I had this done, however I would suggest that if you do decide to have any part of your body changed or enhanced, try to find a doctor who can show you what the end result will look like on a computer by means of digital photography or something like that. I didn't and though I personally know the surgeon who did my lips, it was something I should have asked him to show me.
Let me end this by saying I thought about this procedure for about a year before I actually went ahead with it, collecting information, pondering about whether it would make me FEEL happier or not. If it would change anything in my life and to make sure I was only doing this for me, myself and I and no-one else. It's very important that you never have any type of surgery or procedure done unless you are the one that truly feels it will make you feel happier.
Monday, October 15, 2007
Lips like Angelina Jolie !?!
Have you ever looked closely at a picture of Angelina Jolie? I think she's attractive but not because she is well proportioned, more because she doesn't care what anyone thinks of her and the way she looks. Her lips have been the topic of conversation numerous times as people try to figure out whether they are naturally full or cosmetic surgery has been used.
I like her lips, and natural or not, they suit her. So what if they were cosmetically enhanced, if SHE feels better with herself that way, it's her prerogative. And that's my whole point, when does one have the right to criticize how another looks? Is it not up to the person themselves.
Just look at Mick Jagger, do you really think anyone in their right mind would have their lips enhanced like that?! I doubt it but those lips have become a trademark for Mr. Jagger and if he FEELS comfortable with them, then rock on!
Even though we now live in a society where beauty equals a size 4, it wasn't always this way.In the 1600's women with that same size were considered malnourished and not attractive by society. So, basically it comes down to what the norm of society is. Many doctors maintain that it is not unhealthy to be full bodied--that stress and weight fluctuations are medically more dangerous than weight itself.
When I was a kid I was very skinny. No amount of food I ate would help me gain weight and even though I repeatedly asked the doctor for some form of weight gain products he refused saying that I was healthy and didn't need them. Actually, I didn't mind being so skinny but I was mad at him because I was being teased at school, he wasn't.
In other words outside pressure made me feel as if I was abnormal when in reality I was just thinner than a lot of others, nothing more, nothing less.
So it doesn't matter if you are "too" thin or overweight, what does is your health. That and how you FEEL about yourself is much more important than what society says. Having said this,I'm off to have my droopy thin lined lips plumped up a little tomorrow, but ONLY because I want to.
I like her lips, and natural or not, they suit her. So what if they were cosmetically enhanced, if SHE feels better with herself that way, it's her prerogative. And that's my whole point, when does one have the right to criticize how another looks? Is it not up to the person themselves.
Just look at Mick Jagger, do you really think anyone in their right mind would have their lips enhanced like that?! I doubt it but those lips have become a trademark for Mr. Jagger and if he FEELS comfortable with them, then rock on!
Even though we now live in a society where beauty equals a size 4, it wasn't always this way.In the 1600's women with that same size were considered malnourished and not attractive by society. So, basically it comes down to what the norm of society is. Many doctors maintain that it is not unhealthy to be full bodied--that stress and weight fluctuations are medically more dangerous than weight itself.
When I was a kid I was very skinny. No amount of food I ate would help me gain weight and even though I repeatedly asked the doctor for some form of weight gain products he refused saying that I was healthy and didn't need them. Actually, I didn't mind being so skinny but I was mad at him because I was being teased at school, he wasn't.
In other words outside pressure made me feel as if I was abnormal when in reality I was just thinner than a lot of others, nothing more, nothing less.
So it doesn't matter if you are "too" thin or overweight, what does is your health. That and how you FEEL about yourself is much more important than what society says. Having said this,I'm off to have my droopy thin lined lips plumped up a little tomorrow, but ONLY because I want to.
Monday, October 8, 2007
Poker Anyone?
It's a far stretch from the illegal back room poker games to what poker is now. Poker made the evolutionary jump from being viewed as a game in 2003 to being viewed as a sport in the United States. This mainstream acceptance was due to increased media coverage of high-stakes poker tournaments such as the World Series of Poker and various tournaments on the World Poker Tour.
Although there are a wide variety of ways that poker can be played, the tournament format covered by all of these entities is Texas No Limit Hold’em. In high stakes games, Hold’em is simply the most exciting format of poker, especially when an audience is watching.
With online poker being readily accessible for almost everyone, the number of players has expanded to the unlimited and young and old, women and men enjoy it. Contradictory to what many think, poker is not a game of chance but of mathematical probability and good knowledge of "reading" peoples' behavior. For this reason many poker players wear dark glasses or some form of hat to hide their expressions.
For me, it's a game I am enjoying learning, one where I have to use my brain cells and even though I'm a real novice I get fired up when I feel I have a winning hand, usually one which doesn't coincide with a traditional winners hand.
But....seeing as I don't play for money, I take the risk and several times have found myself winning that certain hand. I haven't figured out yet if that's due to luck or being talented at it so I'll leave that in the middle but the exhilarated feeling remains all the same.
I've been thinking about starting a ladies poker night once a month...anyone care to join?
Although there are a wide variety of ways that poker can be played, the tournament format covered by all of these entities is Texas No Limit Hold’em. In high stakes games, Hold’em is simply the most exciting format of poker, especially when an audience is watching.
With online poker being readily accessible for almost everyone, the number of players has expanded to the unlimited and young and old, women and men enjoy it. Contradictory to what many think, poker is not a game of chance but of mathematical probability and good knowledge of "reading" peoples' behavior. For this reason many poker players wear dark glasses or some form of hat to hide their expressions.
For me, it's a game I am enjoying learning, one where I have to use my brain cells and even though I'm a real novice I get fired up when I feel I have a winning hand, usually one which doesn't coincide with a traditional winners hand.
But....seeing as I don't play for money, I take the risk and several times have found myself winning that certain hand. I haven't figured out yet if that's due to luck or being talented at it so I'll leave that in the middle but the exhilarated feeling remains all the same.
I've been thinking about starting a ladies poker night once a month...anyone care to join?
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
A liscense to motherhood
A local TV station aired a rather controversial documentary the other night about teenagers who are pregnant. It wasn't so much the content that stirred up a commotion, rather the fact that the girls were all under 14 years of age, except one, and they were proud to be expecting.
The program started off with a local celebrity's' daughter who was 16 years of age and pregnant with her second! child. Her first pregnancy had already been highly publicized the year before and together with her boyfriend she had decided that they didn't want a big gap in age difference between their children therefore she had gotten pregnant again.
Here in Belgium where there is a church on almost every street corner and many Belgians are still highly religious, teen pregnancies are quite scandalous. Our neighbouring country, The Netherlands just north of Belgium, seems to accept teen pregnancies much more easily though they have recently begun a campaign to inform the youth of today that being a parent at such an early age just ain't all that!
When I think back to my first pregnancy at the ripe young age of 23 years old, I still hear the echoing words of my mom saying that I would be able to grow up together with my child. In other words, that I was way too young to take on the responsibility of motherhood. And even though in hindsight I did have the greatest time of my life goofing around with my son I do understand that if it hadn't been for her help and advice I might not have done so well with my son.
However, by the time my third child was born over a decade and a half later I must say that there is a vast difference in how I felt emotionally and I was able to enjoy my daughter as a newborn baby much more not to mention more efficiently.
Maybe it might be healthier for every girl or woman to actually realize what being a mom actually entails BEFORE getting pregnant and a good way of doing this would be to take an exam for motherhood, receiving a licence to get pregnant if you pass.
It may sound far out and non ethical, but is it ethical for teenagers to have babies when they are still kids themselves?
In the end, if the girl is lucky she will have a mom who will stand by her side and help taking on most of the "work" a baby brings, when the girl goes to school in the day. If she's not that lucky, then the consequences are heart breaking for both the new teen mom and her baby.
The program started off with a local celebrity's' daughter who was 16 years of age and pregnant with her second! child. Her first pregnancy had already been highly publicized the year before and together with her boyfriend she had decided that they didn't want a big gap in age difference between their children therefore she had gotten pregnant again.
Here in Belgium where there is a church on almost every street corner and many Belgians are still highly religious, teen pregnancies are quite scandalous. Our neighbouring country, The Netherlands just north of Belgium, seems to accept teen pregnancies much more easily though they have recently begun a campaign to inform the youth of today that being a parent at such an early age just ain't all that!
When I think back to my first pregnancy at the ripe young age of 23 years old, I still hear the echoing words of my mom saying that I would be able to grow up together with my child. In other words, that I was way too young to take on the responsibility of motherhood. And even though in hindsight I did have the greatest time of my life goofing around with my son I do understand that if it hadn't been for her help and advice I might not have done so well with my son.
However, by the time my third child was born over a decade and a half later I must say that there is a vast difference in how I felt emotionally and I was able to enjoy my daughter as a newborn baby much more not to mention more efficiently.
Maybe it might be healthier for every girl or woman to actually realize what being a mom actually entails BEFORE getting pregnant and a good way of doing this would be to take an exam for motherhood, receiving a licence to get pregnant if you pass.
It may sound far out and non ethical, but is it ethical for teenagers to have babies when they are still kids themselves?
In the end, if the girl is lucky she will have a mom who will stand by her side and help taking on most of the "work" a baby brings, when the girl goes to school in the day. If she's not that lucky, then the consequences are heart breaking for both the new teen mom and her baby.
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