Have I become so religious that I feel the need to confess to you? No. With all due respect to everyone who is religious, and being a believer in God myself, don't worry, it's just my way of saying sorry for not writing for a couple of weeks.
So why the silence?
Well, to start with I celebrated my 40th birthday and contrary to what many people feel when that number comes up, I was really looking forward to this stage in life. Before you think I've gone nuts, bear with me.
The saying "Life begins at forty" has always stuck in my head, so sub conciously I grew 'older' happily with this thought.
Then of course, the fact that when one turns this age, one is settled down, has his/her career down pat, has more time for themselves because the kids have started school and of course, normally more income to spend on the good things in life......NOT!
I'm far from settled down (being single tends to play a role in that), am itching to start some new courses and workshops which have little to do with my current profession, have a young daughter who isn't really ready for preschool and being single automatically makes one the head of the financial household too which means the income is there to spend on the basics and not so much on the good things (though basics can be very good as well!)
But you won't hear me complaining. I love my life, the freedom that being single allows me to have, I get to spend lots of quality time with my kids, am fortunate to be able to do what I love when it comes to work, and have no real worries when it comes to my finances.
So, why on earth would I worry about a number?
Truth be told, I am a little vane, and I scrutinize my reflection in the mirror each evening for any wrinkles or fine lines in my face. To battle time, I have started using a special night cream for whats' delicately called, the 'riper' skin, and am more conscious of what I eat and exercise more. But I have always been this way, its just that hitting forty made me realize that there really is 'No Way Back'.
Still, I'm much happier than I was ten years ago, and appreciate the everyday things in life more than I did before. I think each age has its charm, and I've already decided that for my 50th birthday I'm going to have my long hair cut into something stylishly shorter and color it in a daring color that I'm too self conscious for now. In a weird way, I can hardly wait!
As for my work, with Eden & Elle Magazine on its' summer stop, I have more time to pursue other passions and gather new ideas for the September issue.
And lastly, I have been making more time for ME. It sounds selfish maybe, but think of it this way, if we do not make time for ourselves, to pamper ourselves and love ourselves, then why would anyone else want to do so?!
So, I say, go and enjoy your life. Play hooky for a day or two, follow your hearts desire and like the PepsiMax commercial says MAX YOUR LIFE : write down six things you have always wanted to do in your life but never dared, throw a dice and then do the number that comes up working your way down the list. Here is the commercial, sorry for all the native English speakers, its only in Dutch, but you'll get the idea!